Here’s a quick way to get pneumonia:
- (night before) Forget to throw undershirts in the dryer, thus ensuring that you will have to dry one in the morning, which, since you will be pressed for time, will still be damp when you put it on.
- (day of) Get up at some godless early hour at which you are not normally accustomed to being awake. This will scramble your brain sufficiently that step three will practically happen on its own.
- Leave the house without a coat. It helps if the temperature outside is below freezing with a windchill in the single digits.
- Develop initial stages of hypothermia while waiting for the bus.
- Sit back and wait for the symptoms to appear!
I’m currently on step 5.