Today I went to everyone’s favorite foreign furniture store, IKEA! I needed a table, badly. I like IKEA (even though I have to go all the way to freaking Woodbridge to get there) because not only do you get inexpensive furniture, but you also get a nice project to work on when you get home.
Well, as it turned out there are a couple of things I should’ve known beforehand, as was obvious to anyone standing around in the parking lot, including the middle-aged man who offered me help (thanks dude!):
1. The dimensions of my trunk. While I did measure them beforehand, I measured only the opening and decided that anything that could get in the opening could ride with me since I have the ability to let my seats down. Not true. The opening to the seat portion is exactly 1/2″ smaller than the table width.
2. How to tie a knot. The guy who helped me suggested I just tie it in the trunk since it was clear at this point that the table wasn’t going to fit in my Civic anywhere. Of course, it is now out of the box so taking it back to schedule a home delivery is out of the question. Tying knots is one of those things I always plan to learn before ‘next time’ but never manage to do. So in typical male fashion I thanked the guy and sent him back to his car to watch in amusement while I haphazardly created some complicated system of double square knots and tried to remember how a half hitch works… (the rabbit goes around the tree and down the hole.. wtf is the tree?). The important thing here is that I did NOT ask for help even though it was obvious I had no idea what I was doing.
Well, somehow I got it home in one piece, despite the occasional slam of the trunk door onto the back of the table surface.
Next thing I learned when I got home: the instructions were printed on the box. The box, as you may intuit, is still at the store. Well, because I am SO SMART, or, possibly, because the IKEA designers are that good, I figured out where everything went. Here it is all put together:
Ok, two things. First, it’s bigger than it looks. The super godzilla vs king kong sized coke from McDonald’s throws off the depth cueing. Second, the power cord to my laptop is actually plugged into my modem jack, which I discovered an hour later.